Sorry, mon peeps. I am not all here. The short of the long has never been my strong suit, but I will try here.

Short: In early August, a good friend of mine listened as I gleefuly listed all the bothersome little things that I was able to get done while being unemployed. When I was finished, she said, “Yeah, it’ll get old.”

How right she was.

Thankfully, we have knitting to take out our frustration on. (Grammar cops, come and get me. I *will* ending that sentence with a preposition, darnit.) The villainous Christmas gift, which turned into a veritable black hole, was punished for everything else that I am less than pleased with upon the arrival of Knit Picks Blocking Mats purchased specifically for that purpose. Blocking wires, t-pins, the works.

Tonight there will be a DK orgy, and tomorrow, I will finish off the gift.

When not being used for my knitting project voodoo, Melba thinks the blocking mats would be good puppy seats. I am really glad I thought to use those point protectors (which I have not put on needles in years) to cover the ends of the blocking wires. Melba is the sort of dog who will be completely oblivious of something until it becomes a hazard. She can be pottering about, walking in the totally opposite direction of Fermi (the cat of Purrbaa fame) until you set Fermi’s dinner down. Persnickety cat that he is, nobody can disturb him while he’s eating or he will leave his dinner in kitty anguish, never to return. And give the disturbance several good whacks on the way out. So of course, the second Fermi has settled into the perfect hunched pose, ready to wolf down his food, Melba will change course and start walking straight for Fermi. Every. Single. Time.

Ditto knitting: she will ignore it completely until it is bristling with hazardous pins and wires. Then–Melba magnet. There’s a towel over the blocking, too, to protect it from the giant toenails she inherited from her Dauschund ancestors. The idea is to get the gift to behave, not abuse it to the point it has to be redone.

And that is the long of the short.

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P.S. The kitten project bag has made me feel a little bit better, too