Fashion Trends That Stress Me Out

1. Harem pants
When these first came out, I examined them, considered how unflattering they are on so many body types (my own included), and decided they would be out of style within weeks. That was several seasons ago, and I’m still seeing them. Why?

2. Crop Tops
Ugh. My own fashion taste tends towards the classic and totally covered–Grace Kelly and her crew. In Grace’s day, a teeny sliver of tummy would show between the hem of a crop top and the top of your high-waisted capri pants. Now, a whole swath of stomach is revealed under a loose, off-the-shoulder tee that is far enough from the waist of miniature cut-offs that a call from one to the other would be long distance. In the words of Billie Dawn, “It’s just not couth!

3. Sunglasses with Neon Temples
I used to get these in bags of party favors at birthdays when I was in elementary school, and so it just perplexes me to see college students wearing them in total seriousness.

4. Sandals with Straps that Go Between Your Toes
This one is purely personal. I don’t like sandals with things that go between my toes, I don’t like toe socks, the thought of wearing those sneakers that have a separate little space for each toe distresses me in the extreme. Some people can wear sandals with straps between the toes, be happy, and look stylish. Unfortunately, it would seem the entire footwear industry has devoted its energies to producing shoes for those people alone. Hot weather is upon us, and I am sandal-less!

4 responses to “Fashion Trends That Stress Me Out”

  1. I’m with you on harem pants and crop tops. The sandals with straps between my toes don’t bother me too much, but I’ve always been anti-toe socks. And Vibram five fingers (those barefoot runner’s shoes) just freak me out. 🙂

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